On July 4, 2019, fireworks were going off outside while I laid in bed, staring at the walls with tears in my eyes. My family had tried repeatedly to get me to go with them to celebrate the holiday, but I could not bring myself to. Not long prior to this day I had undergone surgery, getting a colostomy, and being told I had stage 3 colon cancer. My body felt so fragile. I could smell my ostomy in the room and it was a reminder of everything that I had lost, my independence and my normalcy.

I wanted to shower so badly, but I was unable to shower myself at this time and I was home alone. I felt like while everyone around me was celebrating freedom, I was trapped. Trapped with pain, fear, and the unknown of the future.

What made that day even worse was knowing that I was supposed to be in New England on a travel nurse contract enjoying life. I was set to leave then got admitted into the hospital just 36 hours prior to my scheduled departure.

I was ready to chase adventure, explore, and start my next chapter. Cancer changed all of that though.

At that time, it felt like my entire life had been derailed. I could not see that something sacred was quietly unfolding in the background.

When Plans Fall Apart, Sometimes it is for Something Better

In the months that followed I found myself admitted to the hospital again for about two weeks. I was honestly bored, so I downloaded a dating app. I was not really looking for anything serious. I had just had my colostomy reversed, hardly any hair, and weak from the chemotherapy. I did not think I would find anyone that would want to stick around.

But then I matched with him.

Had I actually left for New England as planned for my travel contract, I would never have met him. We lived in different towns, technically different states although only an hour and a half rom each other. I needed that diagnosis to anchor me back home in order to find him.

From the very beginning, something about him felt steady. Genuine. He never flinched at my scars or my story. He asked questions and he listened. He made me laugh on hard days. Slowly he became a light in one of the darkest seasons of my life.

One Year Later

Fast forward to July 4, 2020.

I was walking through the streets of Boston, truly my favorite city on earth. I was hand in hand with that man I met on the dating app. I knew he was the one I would someday marry. The air was warm and alive with the sounds of people celebrating the holiday. I felt free.

Free from cancer. Free from fear of the unknown.

I remember sitting in the hotel room looking out at downtown Boston, I was overwhelmed by how much could change in a single year. Just 12 months earlier I had been lying in bed, feeling broken and hopeless.

Broken to Beautiful

That year between the two Julys truly changed everything. It stripped me down to my most vulnerable, but it also rebuilt me into someone stronger, softer, and more grateful. It taught me that life does not always go according to plan, but sometimes the detour is the miracle.

If I would not have gotten sick I would have been hundred of miles away and never met him. I needed to be forced to stop, I would not have slowed down long enough on my own, and God knew that.

Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

Looking back now, I can see that truth so clearly. What once felt like a detour was actually direction. What looked like loss was the path toward love. God was working even when I could not see it, piecing together a story that would one day make perfect sense.

If You are in the Hard Year

Maybe you are reading this from your very own hospital bed, or maybe you are in a different kind of heartbreak. Maybe you are in your 2019, the year when nothing makes sense, when everything hurts, and when the world feels unfair.

Hold on.

Because your 2020 moment is coming. The year when you will look back and realize that the pain had a purpose. That the no’s, the setbacks and the cancellations were divine redirections. That the broken road you are walking might just be leading you straight toward your healing, or even the person who will hold your hand through it.

Life Can Change in One Short Year

I used to think the only kind of miracle worth noticing was the big flashy kind. The sudden healing, the instant breakthrough. The truth is, most miracles happen quietly. In the slow rebuilding. In the tiny, faithful steps forward. In the moment you realize that you are living a day you once prayed for.

On July 4, 2019 I had just been diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer and felt like I was fighting for my life and my sanity.

On July 4, 2020, I was walking through Boston, cancer free, with the man I knew I was going to marry.

If that is not proof that God can rewrite a story in just one year, I do not know what is.